I did coke with a 14 year old.​

Unfortunately, this isn’t clickbait.

I was in a grassy park somewhere on my travels and my naughty friends were swimming in the river (I don’t know if we were allowed to or not, and it made me paranoid about getting into trouble…) They were darting across the cool water, floating along with the current from the weir. It was wonderfully dangerous and gave me intense anxiety and excitement simultaneously.

I was sitting on the bank next to the best-friend-of-the-girlfriend-of-my-friend’s-friend’s-son, and we were giggling together, talking about everything and nothing. I had coke on me, and I was having one of my rare moments when I was feeling generous, and so with the girlfriend-of-somebody and her best friend, we cut up lines by the bank, on the grass, by a path, in a public park, and snorted my cocaine right then and there.

I got rather sunburned sitting in the park all afternoon, doing line after bittersweet line in the fading sun. We went back to the flat I was staying in together, I was too hot and needed to have some time indoors. We did a bit more coke and then started talking about deep stuff, and it turned out this girl who I had spent the afternoon with, who I had talked about our years of sexual experience, who I had smoked with, who I had done cocaine with…was fucking 14.

After discovering this, I told her to go back to the park. I didn’t do any more coke with her. I got my things together and curled up in my bed. And then after having a very quiet cry to myself, I got up the next day and went to an NA meeting and bore my soul to my micro world.

Addiction is cunning and deceptive, but today I realised that addiction is heartbreaking. How can a 14 year old be onto coke already? I was using at 14, but she has already had years under her belt, using hard drugs.

Praying for her, and other addicts,

H.

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