My mum found out I’m taking drugs (again)

The title isn’t clickbait.

She just straight up asked me, and I had no defences. I just told her the truth, not the whole truth though; I don’t want her to be hurt by how bad it’s gotten again.

Since I was 17, I have been making video diary entries of my using and drinking. In some clips I am crying, in some, I am totally fucked off my face on a plethora of illegal substances, in one I am drunk and swearing, in another, I am calling out in pain. I am going to compile all these years worth of addiction into one mega movie, and show it to my small world.

I so desperately want to stop, by my addict doesn’t. I am going to a meeting today to talk about what’s happened and keep fighting.

I won’t let it win. Not this time.

Much love,

H.

 

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