Hi, here’s an inappropriate poem for you.

To the boy with the bible and the little red car,

For you I would take off more than my bra,

We both know by now that I’m more than a friend,

So take me back yours, over your desk I’ll bend,

You’re lovely and like me you’re not at all sporty,

Babe let’s go the distance so we can be naughty,

For you darling I will be ever so good,

To the whole world (except you) I’m misunderstood,

And although from Uni I’ve sadly departed,

The fun we will have is not for the faint hearted

Wherever you are in the world’s where it’s at,

So put down your textbook and check your snapchat 😉


(Totally written by a friend, not me.)

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